Apparently its been 17 weeks since I last updated my LJ. Yeah I know I'm shit. I'm just not emo enough to write journals anymore!!

Okay so probably quite alot of news in the last 17 weeks.

I totally got a new job at British gas which I'm rather pleased about. I've NEVER earned this much before, its either going to be quite rather fun or quite rather dangerous. I'm totally going for quite rather fun as I'm on a total clean mission at the moment... I love how when I've had a night of drinking i just wake up happy that I've slept and cheery in the knowledge that as soon as I have a bacon butty at Lauren's house all my physical side effects of the night before are going to go away... its ace.

Still living in my massive old house...Diaz is living here too which is just the best thing ever. I love the fact that I now have someone to cuddle up to and suck my thumb on when the house is having lazy soppy time. Also we actually have the must awsome bird in the world coming down to live with us from scotland. Her name is lauren, we met her like once and she came down for a few days and now shes moving in in like a month or so. She's an actual legend.

Little peg also is a super-star DJ, well, will be in like 2 weeks. she's got residency on alternative lesbian night at the edge on fridays (kicking off 10th october)...mate honeslty she's my favourite DJ ever. I've been to all her gigs HA. Also might have a couple of other bits and bobs lined up. Im so proud. sob sob.

Its all happening innit.

Happy little Wiggs I am
Mwah
xxx

Today I'm feeling rather...: bouncy

Apparently it's been 33 weeks since I last updated on here (livejournal..though it should still automatically show up on facebook too)...that's almost a fucking year and things have changed so much I hardly know where to start. So I won't...lol...well I'm not going to eevn bother trying to fill you in with everything that's happened :)
Okay, so good stuff all round. About 6 weeks ago I moved into the best place in the whole world, a really awsome posh 4 storey house in Bernard Street in Southampton. Its about 5 minuites from town, about 10 minuites from mayflower park. I couldn't be happier here, I love everything about it, I love my room (its right on the top floor), I love our animals, I love our little courtyard garden, it's perfect. I live with my two bestest friends, Lilly and Peg. Lilly used to be my mananger at Pampurred pets, and Peg is her girlfriend. Lilly kind of adopted me when I was feeling abit shit last year, and when I met Peg we clicked really well and now we're all pretty much inseperable. You might think it's weird being best friends with a couple but I never really feel like the third wheel. I get plenty of attention from both of them and as a result I don't really feel like I want to be with anyone right now. So I'm enjoying the summer doing whatever I want.
Life's been great recently. We all cook real good so we all eat real tasty food, drink lot sof wine and beer, at weekends go to mayfloer park, play guitar, feed peg up on herbal highs (she can't take drugs because of her job), get totally mashed, get in the bath in our underwear at 5am, watch lots of movies, smoke lots of rollies, have our friends over and sunbath in the garden. We're all so happy and chilled out all of a sudden, it's awsome.
I've got a job in a pharmacy, it's great but doesn't pay too well. Real interesting though. Also we've got the best animals ever...I've got Barley (gerbil), Hendrix (black gerbil), Fizz and Fargoe (robroski hamsters), Smidge and smudge (russian hamsters), Primrose (syrian Hamster), Claud, Cloud and Pixie (rats), Mr Ginge (giunea pig), Emilio (house rabbit), Lunar (white pedigree cat) and Philip - the latest addidtion to our family (injured pidgeon living in the guinea pig run) I'm also getting a persian kitten called Rufus...a ginger one. Need to save up for him though :)

Better get some sleep, everyones always asking how I'm doing at the moment so now you know!! :D
xxx

Today I'm feeling rather...: loved
Today my inspiration is...: Kayne West

Feeling quite drunk actually...which is quite embarrassing considering the amount I've had. There's something about pubs...they always seem to get you pissed quicker than if you drunk the same amount at home. Maybe it's because I'm not drinking quite so much, and my tolerence is finally going back to normal. Either way, I've had a great evening. Lots of pool, chatting about sex, drugs, and putting the world to rights.
I've moved back home now, I thought it'd be horrible and really hard and lonely, but infact it's easier and I feel alot more at ease and a lot more loved. I think it's because I feel less paranoid and more chilled out, I do things at my own pace. I've seen friends almost everyday, and feel like I can be myself. I love getting mashed on whatevers going, but recently I've felt like I don't really know how to be myself when I'm sobar and I've felt quite insecure, it's only been a week but already I'm much more outgoing and happier in myself. Been seeing Sammy and Megan quite abit, they're great girls and always cheer me up. Saw little Emm who I haven't seen in a while, seen Fez, Roz, Alice, going shopping with little gay Matt this week, meeting up with a couple of other old mates tomorrow...everythigns going quite well. Apart from the job hunting, thats going crap because I'm a lazy shite...but I've had so much overtime at work recently it hasn't mattered too much. Still, I need all the money I can get. I really wanna sort my passport out, I really wanna be able to go to Scotland and Brighton soon, and I wanna save up for moving away next year. I really wanna do it, I'm so bored round here. In the last couple of months I've learnt to appreciate southampton alot more but it's still not enough.
The guy on the printer cartridge packaging really looks like Dave groul and it keeps making me laugh (!!!)
Anyway, I better get some kip in a sec, its early but I'm exhausted, its been a busy day, and I've got another real busy day tomorrow and wednesday...and friday and saturday! Think thursdays the only quiet day I've got at the mo! Hey - maybe Ill use it to get a proper job...
Love to everyone who wants it :)
xxx

Today I'm feeling rather...: optimistic

I can't believe its been 17 weeks since my last update! And I can't believe how much has changed since then. Life is 100% different...I think I'm happy? Well, the highs are highers and the lows are lower, but I'm certainly never bored (or sobar).
Okay - I haven't got long as I have things to do...but here's a brief update of everything thats gone on:

- Moved to Scotland with Annie and hated it, definately wasn't for me. As I result I moved back and just after glastonbury we broke up. We just wanted completely different things. It's still abit weird to get my head round, but I'm sure its for the best. After lots of arguing we get on well now, I speak to her every other day or so.

- I went back to Friarsgate, then quit again. Couldn't hack it there, was making me feel weird. Too many memories associated with it i think.

- I got a new job in a pet shop in Eastleigh, I fucking love it ther, I could seriously do it every day. All the staff there are awsome and I have loads of fun. I'm going bowling with them tomorrow actually.

- I moved out into a place in Southampton. Its fucking wicked, it belongs to a mate called Max that we met in the last few weeks. Everyone there is really nice and its got everything I need, plus its right next door to Lennons which is brilliant!!

- We've made loads of new friends in town, its weird knowing people when your out and about rather than just the mates you went there with. Its cool though!!

- I got my hair cut the other day, its all layery and abit fringey and messy. That's as best as I can describe it! Its made me feel much happier in myself.

So thats about it really...sure much more has gone on but I need to go and have a fag and sort my CV out. I promise Ill try to keep you updated more often, just right now I'm always too mashed or busy to sit down and write.

Love to everyone that deserves it xx

Heeheee! I'm on abit of a high this morning! Think because I'm over tired and I had a really silly afternoon yesterday!! I was really sad because it was my half day, the sun was shining and I was all alone! Tim had decided to go to work for a change, and Annie is doing a gay shift at work which means shes not home till 7.45. J was in Totton, but I managed after spending about 2 hours on the phone to her to get her to come down. We had a cwoffee, and drew in the book, and got some stuff for the magic box. Tim and J have written a song about it which should be interesting!!
Then we managed to get Timmy tim out and we got some beer and sat in the 'deaf' section (actually the blind bit but I kept fucking up my words last night) and drunk it whilst being complete twats. You know how the other day I thought I was having some sort of mid-youth crisis? I think last night definately prooved it as we spent most of the night:
- Jumping over flower beds
- Trying to do keep me ups
- Spinning round whilst drinking beer whilst annie sung the pop-corn song
- Getting Tim to spin us round and round
- Giggling like twats
- Speaking to each other like we was fuckin townies thou innit?
- Sticking our fingers up at secruity cameras
I actually couldn't talk last night at all. I was thinking about saying to Jamie 'I really want to get pissed, I can tell I'm in one of those moods where I could get drunk really easily!' but then I thought 'I might be too ill to go to work tomorrow....well, I could just bunk the morning, I could tell sarah I'm really not feeling well...' but insted I just turned to Jamie and said 'I'm not feeling very well!' and J was like 'What?!' and I was like 'No, not really! I feel fine!' then started pissing myself to the point where I couldn't actually breath and I was crying. Okay, its not that funny, but when you've had 3 beers and your in a silly mood, it really is!!
Me and J were chatting yesterday, and I think we're both in the same sort of mood at the moment. I'm kinda really on the edge of crying all the time, but I'm also extremely happy all the time. Probably because I'm having so much fun, and I'm so thankful for the times I'm having at the moment, because I know they'll make great memories. I just wanna make the most of things down here so I cant look back and say 'I wish I'd done more whilst I had the chance...' Anyway, I still have glasto to look forward to! Thats gonna be extremely emtional, because it really will be the last time I see my mates. Well, some of them anyway. Its gonna be really hard to say goodbye after that, because we won't even know when the next time we'll see them is. When they all move up!! eh heh heh
I got it good this morning, Julie is poorly so Ive been sent out to kingsworthy, whihc means I get an easy morning!! I'm working 11 hours today which is abit gay, but afterwards think I may be meeting T,J and Lau for a pint as Laura's mate is down. Should be cool, then obviously back to mine for some mayhem. Stuey Stu Stu is coming down!!! YAAAAY! Really happy :-) God its gonna be a fucking messy night! Why do I get the feeling everyones gonna get trashed, but I'm the one who's probably gonna get the most loved up, and parade around in a shiney disco sexy outfit?? Its a long story!!!!

Really bored today. Had a half day, now at mums with fuck all to do. Its so sunny outside! Everyones at work etc. Gay. Still, I guess it'll give me abit of 'me' time, I really need it at the moment. Or maybe I don't. Maybe being alone and thinking too much is bad for me. I always sit around dreaming and trying to figure things out, and normally come to a conclusion that is a bunch of crap but I start to believe it anyway.
Aaaannnnnnyyyyyywwwaaaaaayyyyyy, I feel alittle happier. Not quite as teary. Lost all interest at work now. Probably because I know I only have a week left. And I feel abit better now I haven't seen my mates for a few days! That sounds harsh but its only because when I see them it reminds me of what I'll be missing! Actually Im just making a CD tht reminds me of my mates down here for when Im in scotland sad and lonely, just so I can feel even more sad LOL!!
Today Dr Diaper said something really obvious but it really made me think. I was telling him about how nervous I was getting, and he said:

"Lynz, you'll probably spend the first two weeks abolsutely loving it, then you'll be really depressed and homesick for about a month, but that's when you've just got to get out there and do stuff, go see all the sights in Edinburgh, have days out, go out drinking, people are really friendly up there, you'll meet loads of cool people"

It really made me think 'yeah, I'm gonna fucking go for it', thinks may not work out, but theres no point in going up there if I'm not gonna give it a bloody good try. If I start moping about everyday wishing I was at home, I'm never really gonna experience Edinburgh for what it is, and I might miss an amazing oppotunity to get outta Eastleigh and be in a city with loads of fucking cool stuff to do. I got to keep my chin up. Been feeling abit better with Annie aswell, maybe because we're not seeing much of each other (most days Im working 8-5, and she's working 12-8) so when we do see each other its special. Went for a nice walk last night to get some curry chips. I know it doesn't sound that romantic but at least we got a chance to go for a wonder and a chat.

I love walking! I do. Really gives me time to clear my head. Maybe I should become a rambler??

Yeah, anyway, really looking forward to my works leaving do. Feels really surreal planning my own leaving do. Was gonna say it feels like I'm planning my own funeral, but thats slightly too dramatic!! What I mean is I can't really imagine it happening because I never thought it would happen anytime soon. I DUNNO OKAY!!!
Anyway, got lots of people eating / drinking with us. Maybe I should get the guys to gate crash?? Eheheheh.

Current Location: Mums

Just seeing if this means an entries I make automatically get posted onto my facebook profile....

That would be sweet!!

Another morning at KW completely wasted on me surfing the net....
No wonder the NHS are in so much debt....

I feel really really weird at the moment, about the move and everything. Everytime I think about leaving I well up with tears and I get this horrible feeling in my heart and my stomach as if I've been dumped. It's not nice. I think I've been freaking out about it alot this weekend, been very twitchy, had waaay too much energy considering I had about 3 hours sleep saturday night and about 3 hours sunday night. Just stayed up chatting to JJ about life the universe and everything. I just don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do without her around, she's such a wicked mate, probably one of the few people I've ever met who are totally on the same wave length as me :-(
I just suddenly don't feel like me at all. Well, I do, but I feel more like me when I was about 17. Suddenly all I want to do is go out and see my mates, get wasted, dance about like crazy to music and bunk off work. Even have been seriously considering doing some MDMA this weekend with Tim, J and Annie. Maybe its because I just want to make the most of things that I won't be able to do in a while, maybe I'm just getting really nervous. Maybe I'm having some sort of mid-youth crisis? Either way, moving up to a place where i know nobody, settling down and getting a morgage are suddenly the last thing on my mind. Well we'll see how it goes I guess, I just have to remember, its not the end of the world if we don't like it, we can always move back down. Been quite distant from Annie again this weekend, I hate it, I really don't mean to be. I just feel really messy and my feelings are all over the place. But its not her fault. Not that I've been a cunt to her or anything, its just I've probably been paying Jamie alot more attention than her! But again I think thats because I know I wont see her for a while. Ohhhhhhhhhh I dont wanna grow up!!!! Heeellllpppppp! lol. Its fine, Its fine!!
Anyway, on a happier note (and probably the reason Im feeling so rubbish about leaving!) I had an amazing weekend. Saturday was the best day ever! We went and got Tim and J, and went to Victoria Country Park with a football and some beers. We ate some icecream, and played penalty shoot outs, wrote in the book me and Jamie have been doddling in, and climbed up on a stump! lol. It was really sunny and perfect temperature, it was beautiful. Then we dropped the guys @ tims, and went and got stu, and he came round and fed me lots of wine which meant by the time Annie went to pick up Carina, Tim and J, I was nicely wankered. We played wii sports and had a few more drinks before heading down the nexus, where we arm wrestled, before skanking about to some cheesy emo (I think everyone thought we were being really serious lol), and all country dancing to the chemical brothers. Then we got very very drunk and danced to lots of metal, and took loads of really funny photos on Jamies camera, most of which consisted of us spanking each each, grinding against each other, or wearing the seats as hats and surfing on them! On the way home I passed out on Jamie, then woke up and everyone had changed seats! Then J got really sad so I gave her a hug and we went in and watched velvet goldmine, and Tim went and slept with Annie upstairs whilst me and Jamie topped and tailed on the sofa, and I woke up snuggling her feet! Very strange night!! But cool.
Cant wait until this weekend! Gonna get absolutly wasted and film it on my video camera! Then next weekend is our last one! waaaaagggghhhh!

Been a very busy few weeks so I haven't updated alot...stuff that has happened:

1- Got glastonbury tickets!! Me and Annie were even thinking about bailing out the day before, we really need any money we can keep at the moment if we're gonna do this move properly. It's really stressing us out. But then I started thinking about the sun shining, driving along the dusty entrance road with Glastonbury fm playing, everyone waving and smiling at us, going for walks round the green fields, clapping when the sun sets and rises, dancing around in the glade, ahhhhh amazing. I know it sounds cheesy, but I remember the first time we came over the hill in the car and got a full view of the festival site, it just took my breath away, and over that week I don't think I've ever felt more myself. I'm so glad we went for it and managed to get tickets.

2- I got arrested! I have to go to court tomorrow. I'm not worried...why? Because I'm fucked! And I know I am, and I know theres nothing I can do about it!! Me and Annie had an argument on Alice's birthday, and she threw the keys at me and told me to drive myself home, so I did! But I'd had about 6 pints and was in no state to drive. I don't know whether I was swerving about, or just driving at about 15mph all the way home, but I got pulled over, handcuffed, and put in a meat wagon. I had to spend the night in a cell which was most uncomfortable, but the police were really nice to me nad made me coffee in the morning. I think they knew I wasn't really the type, and were probably glad to have arrested someone that wasn't trying to be cocky or funny. I know I'll loose my liscence (only had it a couple of months), and get a ban, probably for a year or two. Also a fine, could be up to £5000, but for a first offence I doubt It'll be more than £1000, which I'll probably have to pay back at about £10 a week. me and Annie are fine, we were so glad to be back together in the morning, we just hugged for ages :)

3- Annie's mum has been looking for jobs, and apparently NHS direct is recruiting in septmeber, which is cool, I'd love to work there so I can switch my pension over. Only 2 weeks left of work now, I'm getting really excited. Think I've been through my worrying and sad phase now, and have accepted it'll be hard to be away from my friends, but at least I have glasto to look forward to!!

Today I'm feeling rather...: amused

Had a really productive weekend! And feeling much much better about moving now. I think its since we started packing, the suns been shining, and Annie's Mum has said we can decorate our new room whatever colour we like. We're thinking probably paprika kind of colour, sort of reddy orage with a lighter shade on the other walls. Sounds really horrible, but when we saw the colours against each other in B&Q they looked gorgeous.
So we've booked the van, got Chubbly jabbed, flead, wormed, got him some tranq tablets and spray, booked cattery, written to leaders to tell them we're leaving, redecorated the bedroom, sorted the garden, scrubbed out the oven, scrubbed out the tiolet, and packed absolutely EVERYTHING via the essentails! So we're pretty much ready to go! We just need to do a few more bits and bobs and we're away :-)
Only got 4 weeks and 3 days left of work, and just 5 weeks till we leave. Its weird seeing our house so empty, and seeing people thinking 'this could be the last time I ever see them!' not talking about my friends, but just people you see down the shop or on the bus every so often.
Its gonna be nice starting again on mutual ground, I mean when me and Annie got together she was new in Eastleigh, so she became friends with my friends, went to the pubs I went to, did the things I liked doing, but now its gonna be a new start, a new place for both of us. It'll be fun.
Better go. Very short up date I know, but I dont really have much to say, except Im feeling much happier and excited!! Although not sure how long it'll last, Ill probably be all worried again next time you speak to me!! lol

Current Location: Kingsworthy surgery